Category: Faith

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Lost and Found

A long time ago, in that other lifetime when I had a toddler and a baby, I considered getting my ears pierced. Having grown up Mennonite, when my parents never even had wedding rings, jewellery was a little suspect. I liked pretty things, but preferred rings and things to be small and unpretentious.  And so I couldn’t quite decide — did I want to have my ears pierced or not?

I’d almost decided not when, for Christmas, 1979, Volker gave me a pair of opal and gold earrings. I have a fondness for opals, the way they aren’t just one colour, the colours seem to move inside the milky whiteness of the stone.

These were tiny, quite unpretentious. Hand-made by a man I’d known in highschool they’d cost a ridiculous amount of money for the financial shape we were in. They were beautiful. I got my ears pierced.IMG_3013

In March 2013, in Santa Clara, the evening before I was getting on the airplane to return home I realized one of my earrings was missing. I figured I’d lost it while playing with Mina. I did a search, but couldn’t find it. I felt so bad. Those earrings are very special to me; after all these years, to have lost one….

I was so relieved when Trina sent me a message the next day that she’d found my earring! I had to wait till my next visit to California to retrieve it but that was not a big deal, as long as I got it back!

Well, recently again I realized one earring was missing. Again I looked for it. I found the back, but not the earring itself. Again I felt so disappointed. But then I decided that I could take the one remaining earring to a goldsmith and have him/her make a matching earring for me. No, it wouldn’t be the one Volker gave me, but I’d still have a set.

That evening, as I stepped on the mat in the bathroom I felt something under my foot — Yes! it was my earring! Relief flooded me again. I was so grateful that I had the original back.

But I wonder, should I put them away to ensure I never lose them? No, I don’t think so. It may happen some day that one (or both) are lost for good. But I never put them on or see them in the mirror without remembering the man who gave them to me and the love they will always represent.IMG_3016

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Memories of my Mother

We moved to a farm in North Easthope when I was in Grade 2. Papa drove us the 2 miles to school in the morning, but we walked home in the afternoon. All the farm kids walked, so we started off in a big group that lost members as we went along. By the time we got to the crossroads only the Gingerich kids were left — my brothers and me. They weren’t interested in waiting for a dawdling sister so by the time I turned the corner they were already out of sight.

The farm buildings on the corner were close to the road. There was often a large, loud German Shepherd tied to the corner of the barn that barked ferociously at passers-by. I was very afraid of that dog. I was afraid to even walk past it, though it could not come out onto the road. Feeling frightened I crossed the ditch, climbed the fence to put a barrier between me and that animal. But as I landed on the other side of the fence I startled a snake! It slithered off, but now I was crying in earnest, unable to move. I had no idea how to get home for there were terrors everywhere!

And then I saw my Mother walking down the road. She told me much later that she’d been ironing that day when she had the feeling she should walk down the road to meet her children. When the boys came on without me she just kept going. We are both so grateful for that prodding of the Spirit.

Gingerich family, 1964
Gingerich family, 1964
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May 4 ~ 28 years

Emily Dickinson said, “‘hope’ is the thing with feathers – that perches in the soul -…”. What then is grief?

“Grief” is the thing of stone
That perches in the soul –
And presses hard without a sound –
And never stops – at all –   (BB)

Volker died 28 years ago. Incredible. Can it really be? Time is such a peculiar thing.

This is one day of the year I “take off” — I take off from work, from socialization. I spend it mostly alone with my dog. Once again this year I headed to Goderich, to the water, to a leash-free dog park.

I think what I like most about my day off is that both grief and hope reside without conflict in my soul.

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