I have an extremely busy day coming up – starting with a chiro appointment, then work at First Mennonite Church, followed by work at Pioneer Park Christian Fellowship, home briefly for some supper then visit Mom in St Jacobs and to end the day a program, “Dancing toward Reconciliation,” at Bloomingdale Mennonite Church. I think this whole day will be pushing me beyond my usual limits.
P.S. I had a really good day! So often such a day would end with a migraine. Not today. Thanks, God!
Today’s challenge asks us to acknowledge in some way those people who had significant impact on your life by returning the favour.
When I think of people who had a big impact on my life, I think of those without whom I might not have survived the first years of widowhood. Doris Siebel, who took my kids after school when I went to work and gave us all supper. Don & Elinor who also offered so much support. Bertha Lander, pastor at Bloomingdale Mennonite Church, who listened to me for many hours. Marie Snyder, who held me that night I was told Volker was going to die, and who, with her family took our family out for dinner many Sunday afternoons after Volker was gone. This is not an exhaustive list, but these people were critical. The least I can do is say “Thank you!” again.
“For some of us, relinquishing control and sacrificing our own agendas or plans is difficult. …” So the challenge for today is to put someone else’s needs/desires head of your own.
OK, my first reaction is – I do this many times a day! This is how my mother lived, what I and my sisters were taught as little girls, it is especially true if you want to be “a good wife” (so I was taught) – that others’ needs were more important than our own.
My job as administrative assistant is based on fulfilling others’ needs. So much of my job involves stopping whatever task I was working on to help someone else. I am not complaining, I love my job (most of the time). Just sayin’ playing second fiddle is something I do all the time.
I think for many of us women learning to give some priority to our own needs is what we need to practice.
With today’s ice storm the church was even quieter than yesterday! And I think I had only 2 phone calls to interrupt what I was doing.
Chocolate = love, right? Today’s challenge is to give away chocolate.
I had to pick up a prescription at the drugstore, so also got a box of chocolate covered almonds, part proceeds going to cancer research or some such (bonus). My resolve was to give them to anyone coming into my office today. Well, one pastor is away on vacation, one pastor was sick, the third only worked the morning, which meant a very quiet day for me. Nonetheless, half the time I forgot to offer the chocolate to the few people who did come in. I’m just not used to doing that. I guess I need to practice generosity.
Only one level of the challenge today – to show someone love. However, we are challenged to think about how the other feels love, to give in ways that we may be less comfortable with.
Mom and me at Holly’s shower, February 7/16
This morning I went to visit my mother living in long-term care. She slept for most of the time I was there. But we did, at the prompting of the nursing staff, take a walk up the hall. When she was back in bed I told her I loved her. She answered:
“It is had to accept love when you can’t love yourself.”
I know this has been a particular struggle for Mom for a long time.
I asked, “Why can’t you love yourself?”
Her reply, “Because I’m so useless.”
Why do we believe we can only be loved if we can do, only when we are productive? Why is it so hard to believe we are really truly loved? Yes, my mother is “useless,” in that she can no longer make meals for her family, help in their gardens, babysit the little ones, or any of those myriad of things she used to do. She can no longer take care of her own personal needs without help. She often can’t remember her children’s names, much less her grandchildren, and the great-grands, well, forget that. But she’s my mother, and I remember all those things she did for me all the years my life. I know I am who I am because I am hers, because she loved me. She doesn’t need to do anything more to be loved. She is truly and well loved right now! I pray she may be able to feel and accept all the love so many people have for her.
And I want to learn this lesson for myself, that my lovableness is attached not to my doing, but to my being.
